My Review of Words We Carry: Essays of Obsession and Self-Esteem #TuesdayBookBlog
D.G. Kaye says, “I have been a great critic of myself for most of my life, and I was darned good at it, deflating my own ego without the help of anyone else.” What do our shopping habits, high-heeled shoes, and big hair have to do with how we perceive ourselves? Do the slights we endured when we were young affect how we choose our relationships now? D.G. takes us on a journey, unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions demonstrate how the hurtful events in our lives linger and set the tone for how we value our own self-worth. Words We Carry is a raw, personal accounting of how the author overcame the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love herself.
I wrote this review three years ago but re-read Words We Carry recently because of something that was said to me that brought back memories. I remembered how the book helped me the first time. The following is the first review:
"Ever had that feeling of 'not being quite good enough',of 'never fitting in', of 'always being on the outside'? Then please read this book.Words We Carry carries (excuse the pun) words that can hit home with a sudden realisation of why we may sometimes feel that way. I'm not saying that everyone does. And if you don't then you're very lucky. But, as far as I'm concerned I shall be grateful to this author forever. D.G.Kaye lays her soul bare and, by doing so, allows the reader to sit back and think; to understand that if anyone's opinion touches a nerve, however well meant, however innocently said, there could be a reason from the past.
The author's honesty about her own earlier life; her own feelings of being inadequate, of struggling with self-esteem, allows the reader to do the same. Her empathy and compassion shine throughout the text.
There is no magic wand to wave away past hurts but D.G. Kaye shows how she came to terms with herself and how she moved forward. Her journey helped me to re-evaluate my own life. If the first sentence of my review made you stop and think then I urge you to consider finding a copy of Words We Carry. I thoroughly recommend it...
I'd also written in the review...
"Reading this book gave me a reinforcement of the self-knowledge I knew was in me but... is...was my habit to dismiss because, long ago, that confidence was diminished. I'll say no more on that. I just wanted to stress how invaluable reading Words We Carry was, for me."
And I want to add a couple of comments.
I said "I'll say no more on that." and, at the time I meant it; I was still hiding behind words that had both hurt and inspired me all my life.
So here goes- memories and a little honesty:
Words that hurt... From my father, amongst many similar but these are the ones that stuck with me: " You're like a b****y great elephant." And " Your sister makes ten of you," ( which I always thorough odd, because she was my half sister - not his child - but I have long since realised was his own sense of inferiority emerging)
Words that inspired... from an English teacher, a Mr. Leslie Ellinore, who later emigrated to New Zealand and whose words floated away from me for years: " One day, Judith, you will write books that will show the talent you have. Don't waste it. I look forward to reading them."
It took a long time to remember the last and to put away the first.
Some might think this a self-indulgent post but I wanted to show how words do carry and by remembering D. G Kaye's book: here and re-reading it after a health scare and a drop in confidence,
I began writing again. So this is a word of thanks...